Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
