Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
