Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
