i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think I just sharted jello shots
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