Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
