Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
