my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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