Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
