Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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