i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
