It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
