ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
