Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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