Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
