I can tuck mytits in my pants
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
