Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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