super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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