I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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