Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
