Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
