yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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