I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
