a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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