Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
