Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
