Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
