dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
