i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
