You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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