We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
