i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
