shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
