woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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