She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
