HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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