At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
