I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
