I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
