I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
how does that bad decision feel?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
