Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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