this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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