You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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