Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
