I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
