Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
