he puts the penis in happiness.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
