Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
