And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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