Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
