I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
