I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
