so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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