i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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