I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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