I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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