My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
