3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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