Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
